Untimely Regrets
by samy99
Summary: A Persuasion What-If where Fredrick is told the last thing that he expected, leading to heartbreak and many regrets. COMPLETE!
1. Unexpected News

Untimely Regrets

A Persuasion What-If where Fredrick is told the last thing that he expected, leading to heartbreak and many regrets.

A/N: So this is my first fanfic ever, and probably my last. I wrote it years ago while in the midst of the HSC and all its craziness, procrastinating offcourse, and all of this just poured out in one late night type-fest. I just recently found it and decided to edit it and post it up. It's not too long but I'm proud of it. I love reading what-if regency based austen fanfic, so decided that its time that I contributed something back.

Anyway, so here it is…my first and probably last fanfic. Enjoy :)

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Part 1 – Unexpected News

The light from the setting sun was streaming through the single window, striking against Fredrick's bowed face and creating stark angles across his gloomy visage. He stared at the last drop of brandy in his glass, as he debated with himself on whether to ask Croft about someone who had tormented his mind for the last eight years. He recounted countless sleepless nights on the ship with his mind in turmoil, one moment wistfully wondering what she might be doing and the next almost shaking with anger at her betrayal and broken promise. Those first few months had been the worst, but although he no longer thought about her every moment, as eight years is indeed a long time, thoughts of her did always lurk at the back of his mind, ready to reappear at the most inconvenient moments. Visiting his sister at her new home, rented following a return to England after an overly extended period of time at sea due to Croft's naval duties, did not help matters, with the mere sight of a familiar tree bringing back a flood of memories.

After wrestling with himself for a few minutes, he finally gave in. He knew he could not rest until he had found out at least some information. However, he had to be subtle. It would do no good for Croft to find out about his disappointment after so many years of painfully concealing it.

Fredrick cleared his throat. "Ughmm, um Admiral? I was just thinking about your new neighbours. I knew several of them during those years that I lived with Edward in this area."

Admiral Croft looked up at Fredrick, interrupted from his contemplation of the depressingly slight heat being given off by the small fire.

"Oh, yes, I was just thinking on that the other day, Sophie and I finding ourselves settling into the same exact area as you and Edward all those years ago. A fair coincident that isn't it?" the Admiral said, smiling softly.

Fredrick nodded his head slowly whilst holding back a cringe.

"Yes, a nice coincidence. Anyhow I was just now thinking about those neighbours that I once knew. Do you … that is, have you heard anything … about any of them that might be … new to me?" he finished lamely, too nervous to actually mention the Elliots, the house of which they currently occupied.

Admiral Croft looked at Frederick with a slightly quizzical expression, wondering at his sudden curiosity about the neighbours. However after a moment he attributed it to plain boredom.

"Oh, well I do not know them much. I have not had a chance to visit much since we've moved in really. Haven't had the chance to hear the gossip."

Frederick frowned slightly. He had hoped to at least get some news of her.

Suddenly Admiral Croft's eyes lit up. "Oh yes! I almost forgot, I did hear something mentioned at the ___ house two nights ago that drew my interest slightly, only because I think I recall the name being mentioned in a letter written by you or Edward all those years ago accompanied by a funny little anecdote. It was probably one of your letters now that I think on it. Anyhow, that terribly gossipy woman, don't recall her name, well mentioned that there had been some tragic occurrence to the Elliots, although I never heard of anything when I came to see this place. Do you remember them Frederick? No? Well it's no wonder, it is a while ago. And my memory is certainly not what it used to be, oh no, why just the other day I was speeding through the hallways so swiftly that I bumped into poor Clyde when I turned a corner, and after righting the poor fellow, I just plum forgot what I was in such a hurry for! Can you believe it? Quite absurd."

Frederick scowled in impatience, wondering when Croft was going to get to the actual news. He dared not even think of what it could mean. "The news Admiral?"

"Oh, um, well yes. As I was saying, some tragic news. Apparently, one of Elliot's daughter's, the middle one I believe, had a dreadful carriage accident whilst travelling. I believe she was retuning to her home from a visit to someplace or another and when turning at a bend the carriage simply toppled over. I always thought those contraptions dangerous things, and the young men these days travel at such fast speeds! It's simply horrendous. Why these accidents are just waiting to happen, aren't they?

"Croft! What happened to the young lady?"

The Admiral glanced at him quizzically before picking up a book from the table beside him, inspecting it while he answered, he thought he had seen an oily smudge on its surface.

"Oh, yes. Well she had a nasty fall and died a few hours after the accident."

At this point Admiral Croft continued on, talking about the tragedy of young deaths, but Frederick wasn't listening. As soon as he heard the word "died" he felt his heart lurch and his body go numb. As he felt himself starting to shake, he managed to choke out "Are you sure that this was the middle Elliot daughter?"

The Admiral continued to attempt to find the mysterious smudge as he answered "Oh yes, quite sure. You see the woman said that it happened after the young woman gave birth to her first child. So, as I was earlier informed that the eldest Elliot daughter hasn't married yet, I knew it must have been the middle child, as I believe the youngest is still quite small as I overheard someone complaining about her tantrums. Apparently the young woman in the accident was a pretty little thing. It's such a shame." At this point, satisfied that he had just imagined the smudge, the Admiral put the book down and looked up at Frederick.

"Why Frederick!" Croft exclaimed in shock. "What's the matter? You're as white as a ghost! Are you feeling ill?"

Frederick shook his head as he stood up from his chair.

"No, no it's nothing. I think I just need a little rest. I guess I'm more tired from my journey then I thought."

"Offcourse, offcourse! How inconsiderate of me. You just go on up to bed and have a rest. Why you know Sophia would kill me if she knew that I had made you fall sick with my talking and going on. You just go on up. Don't mind me."

Frederick managed to give the Admiral a small smile as he made his way to the Library door, trying with all his might to keep himself together until he reached the privacy of his chambers.

He had no idea how he got there, but as soon as he found himself closing his guest chamber's door, Fredrick immediately dropped down onto the bare wooden floor with his head resting between his folded arms and bended knees. At first he just shock violently, trying to get a grasp onto the idea that Anne was dead, that HIS beautiful sweet Anne was dead. And for so many years! All this time she had been gone and he hadn't even known about it. It wasn't until later when Frederick had somehow made his way into his bed that he realised that he had never hated Anne. No, at that moment he realised that he always had and always would love his Anne, even though this revelation had come too late. That night Frederick, after shivering and shaking and sobbing like he had not done since the night his mother died well into the night, fell asleep with tears on his cheeks and an aching heart.

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A/N: So that was the first part. So what do you think? Love? Hate? I appreciate any sort of feedback.

samy


	2. Regrets and Resolutions

Part 2 – Regrets and Resolutions

Over the next few days, the Admiral and Sophia noticed a definite change in Frederick. He spent his days listlessly, staring at walls and daydreaming, barely touching any food at meal times. They were confused at his behaviour, but simply put it down to fatigue from his recent journey to ____. Sophia questioned Frederick one afternoon, fearing that he may be falling ill, but he just brushed her off.

"No need to worry Sophia. I am merely feeling a little tired. I have been having some trouble sleeping the last few nights."

Sophia let out a musical laugh "Oh, well that must be because your so used to those hard wooden beds on those ships of yours. Your body doesn't know what to do with these soft feathered beds!"

Frederick gave Sophia a small smile as he stood up and headed towards the garden, hoping that it would provide some fresh air for his aching head.

He had not spent the last few days uselessly, but had rather spent every moment going over his many mistakes. He now knew that Anne wasn't to blame for what happened all those years ago. Rather than betraying him as he had thought, she had simply listened to what her only real parental figure had told her. It had been him at fault. He should not have lost his temper as he did at her rejection, but simply reasoned out a plan with her. Offcourse, her family would have been worried at her marrying an ambitious penniless young man. He should have asked her to wait until he had made a name for himself. He knew that he would have been willing to wait for 20 years to marry her if that was how long it took. And he was sure that she would have been willing to wait as long as it took as well. They had loved each other and would have done anything to be together, and all she really needed was a little persuasion and reasoning, and she would have seen the wisdom in remaining in an extended engagement whilst he attempted to make a name for himself. She didn't have to choose between their love and her family, she could have had both. But instead of reasoning with her, he had let his pride and anger get the better of him, in the process throwing away the most precious thing in his life. He had given up his Anne. Forever.

Frederick went over these thoughts again for what seemed the thousandth time, grieving for what could have been if not for his stupid childish pride. And what was worse was that he had left Anne all those years thinking that he despised her for her weakness when the opposite was the truth, although he had not known it himself until that moment days ago. He had lost the opportunity to tell her how much he loved her. He felt a tear trail down his face and wiped it away with the back of his hand and breathed a heavy sigh, wondering what he was to do now. At that moment he heard a rustling behind him and turned to see Admiral Croft approaching him.

"Fredrick! I've noticed how down you've been lately and I thought that the perfect thing to lift your spirits would be to go around and see some of the neighbours. Oh! And you know those Elliots that I told you about, you know a few nights ago by the fire? Yes? Well I heard that one of the Elliot daughters, the youngest I presume, is staying at her late sister's house nearby. You know, helping the widower to take care of the young children, seeing as he hasn't remarried since the accident. Some people think it odd, but I think it's only natural to wait for some time after your love has gone. I can't imagine what he's going through, taking care of two sons all by himself. Although, he does have the help of his younger sister in law. That must be of some help."

Frederick listened with a thoughtful look on his face. He hesitated to visit anyone at the moment with him feeling as he did, but he had a strange urge to see Anne's children. Would they have her dark eyes, their innocence and sweetness? Would they have her clear skin, so soft and delicate? Or would they have their father's eyes? He didn't know if he wanted to see the man that Anne had eventually married. He felt a strong surge of jealousy at the idea, however he cooled slightly at the thought that Anne may have had someone who loved her, if not as much as he did then nearly as much, in those last years before the accident. In the end his urge to see her family won out. He smiled at the Admiral and said with genuine sincerity, "I would love to go and visit with some of the neighbours. I do think some socialising might help me get out of this mood."

Croft laughed "Well then, why don't we go tomorrow morning? We'll leave early and see if we can't visit everyone in this town!"

"Yes, offcourse" Frederick replied while looking at a twittering bird absentmindedly. The Admiral shrugged and walked back to the house, leaving Frederick to his thoughts. If there was one thing that Frederick knew for certain, it was that the next day would be one to remember.

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A/N: Short chapter I guess, but the last one is next. Anyway, please keep leaving some feedback behind, good or bad. Thanks!


	3. Embarrassing Situations

Part 3 – Embarrassing Situations

The three set off the next morning, visiting the first house at the earliest that was deemed acceptable. The Crofts knew all of neighbours they were visiting from recent gatherings they had attended, and due to their affable nature they were heartily welcomed into all the homes as if they had been invited beforehand. All of the visits went by without much notice from Frederick, impatient as he was to visit the Eliot house. However, he stopped himself from mentioning anything to the Crofts, not wanting to raise any questions.

Finally, as the hour was nearly drawing to noon, they called on the Elliot house. It wasn't Kellynch Hall, no this one was no hall. It had a certain quaint and homely look to it from the outside, whilst seeming agreeably spacious. As the three were ushered into the sitting room Frederick felt his heart beating in his ears as he looked at the furnishings that Anne must have placed. However his attention was arrested form one particular painting when his eyes caught on a young woman's head. As he had been distracted, the man of the house had apparently already begun making the introductions. However Frederick ignored them as he stared at the back of a young woman's head, her brown hair twisted into a bun. She was ushering out a young boy with her face turned away, so he couldn't see her face. However, as she eventually turned Frederick felt his breath get stuck in his throat.

He had to be dreaming! No it couldn't be! Standing before him was Anne. Her eyes were a little tired and she seemed a little pale, but he was in no doubt that standing before him was his Anne. In a daze Frederick slowly walked towards her until he stopped not an arms length away. She looked up at him confused, blushing as he continued to stare at her face. She seemed about to greet him as he suddenly lifted his hand to her face, brushing his fingers against her soft check. He heard her draw a quick intake of breath.

Frederick marvelled at her appearance and whispered haltingly "Anne…is it really you?"

Anne seemed momentarily at a loss for words. She had been shocked when she saw Frederick walk into the room. Offcourse, she had heard that he had come to the town to stay with his sister at the former Elliot house, but it was still a shock to see him after all these years. Added to that was an uncertainty on how to treat him. Was she to ignore him, or greet him merely as a prior brief acquaintance or rush into his arms as she dearly wanted to do but knew she could not? Yet, when he walked straight up to her, ignoring all others in the room, and touched her on her check, she felt her heart stop beating and her head begin to twirl. She felt slightly faint. Could this really be happening? His question confused her, but she attributed to him being as befuddled as she was at that moment.

Anne smiled slightly as she looked up into Frederick's clear blue eyes after so many years and whispered as softly back, "Yes Frederick its me."

All of a sudden Frederick took another step closer and drew Anne to his arms, heedless of the others staring at them in shock as he hugged Anne close to his heart.

"I cannot believe it! I had thought I had lost you forever. Oh Anne I love you so much that I think my heart is going to burst!" Frederick cried.

Anne's eyes glistened with tears as she said, muffled against his jacket, "Oh, I love you too Frederick!"

Frederick laughed as he placed his hand under Anne's chin, encouraging her too look at him. She slowly looked up and for several moments all they did was look into each others eyes and smile. However, Frederick couldn't resist those lips for long and so he slowly drew his face closer and kissed her. They were both breathless with emotion as they were swept away to eight years in the past when they had first shared such a kiss. It was as sweet, tender and loving then as it was now.

It took several moments after they had started kissing that Mr Eliot and the Admiral finally overcame their shock and together cried "Frederick!" "Anne!".

It was at that moment that Frederick and Anne suddenly realised exactly where they were. They sheepishly stepped apart and turned towards their respective relatives, heads bowed with shame but with small smiles still playing at their lips.

Mr Eliot spoke first, seeing a need to defend his sister-in-law's honour. "Well! Anne…I take it that you have an explanation for us?"

Anne continued to smile as she related the story of her and Frederick's relationship. After she was done Frederick added in his misinformation. As he explained, the Admiral's, Sophia's and Anne's faces showed dawning comprehension.

Anne suddenly cried out when he had finished "Do you mean to say, that for the past few days you had thought that it was I who had been in the carriage accident and not my poor sister Mary?"

Frederick frowned as he said "Well, yes. Oh Anne you don't know what I felt when I heard that you had died. My heart felt as if someone had took hold of it and was squeezing it with all of their strength. But I must say, that if I had not heard this dreadful news, I may have realised too late how much I still loved you. Who knows how I would have treated you if I had still been wrongfully nursing my hurt pride when we met again."

Anne drew close to Frederick again and smiled at him encouragingly. "Frederick, do not talk so. Do not worry about what might have been; only be glad of what we have got."

Frederick's face broke out into a truly besotted grin, transforming his already handsome appearance into a truly heart rendering sight. "Yes Anne. We have truly been gifted with another chance."

And they lived happily ever after…

The End.

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A/N: So that's it! What did you think of my first bit of fanfic? Any good?

From some of the comments I can now see that the ending to this fic was probably a little predictable and obvious, but oh well, the real reason that I wanted to write it in the first place was because of how I pictured it ending. I do love picturing that final scene *grins*

Anyway, I thank you all dearly for all of your comments and I'll make sure to check back on this once and a while to see what any new readers are saying, so that any new comments are not seen as futile, lol, other than their value to other readers offcourse :)

Thanks for reading :)

samy


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